Sunday, June 25, 2006
WHY WHY WHY! I forgot to take my med this morning. I now have an explanation for why I have been dizzy, nauseous, and bloated that does not relate to having split pea soup for lunch. We had our normal Sunday brekkie of srambled eggs and english muffins and I forgot to take my pills! In the AM I worked on my knittting magazine index project (75 patterns so far and I've done Vogue Knitting, Cast On and Sandra which are the small lots) and after lunch I went out to do more pruning but I could hardly lift the long-handled pruners, and every time I bent over to pick up branches I got dizzy. When you have as many things wrong with you as I do, you tend to dismiss "little things" like dizziness or bloating. I have BPV (benign positional vertigo) but it wasn't this bad last week. IBS makes me bloat, but I take simethicone for that (well, I thought I did) and what about missing your morphine dose could make you feel bad anyway? Now, children, there is a reason why drugs are bad, and I am talking opioids here. I am not "hooked" like a drug addict who wants her next hit to get high. I don't get high; I might get low without it, but I don't feel any rush of wonderfulness when I take my time-release morphine. I just don't hurt as bad. But NOT taking an addictive drug when you are physically addicted means you start to go into withdrawal and it's not a nice place to be. I ususually feel so bad I can't function so feeling just a bit off-centre confuses me. I hate myself when I do stupid things like this. Here I have a fleet of doctors trying to keep me well and I can't remember to take the f***ing pills.