Today you get photos and not much more. Above is my crepe myrtle which has bloomed gorgeously for the first time in I can't remember how many years. It's amazing what getting rain for a change does. It now obviously needs a hard prune but I was afriad to do that when it was barely hanging on with the drought. Of course, I am also drowning in weeds which I can't seriously attack, but you win some, you lose some.

To the right is the BFL I mentioned on Dec. 30, one bobbin full
and some of the unspun roving so you can see what
I started with. It's a delight to spin and I hope I get enough to do something nice with it. Lovely shades of green. The other spinning has been alpaca: I've spun and plied a hank of white, and I have a bobbin full of brown. There will always be alpaca. I have the last bag of white to sort through and it has had moths in it. I am throwing out more than I keep and have added moth balls to the bag. Fortunately all my stash but a little is in plastic tubs and safe from insects.


To the left is a close-up of the socks I just finished out of the hand-spiun merino & bamboo. The way the colours mix and flow is really gorgeous and completely derived from the spinning and knitting process. I have to say it's prettier than any store-bought (IMHO) but store-bought is more uniform in thickness and has extra stregthening in it (usually nylon). I didn't reinforce these and we'll see how they wear, but I haven't yet worn out any socks. That's the virtue (?) of having many pairs of socks: you don't wear any one pair too heavily and they stay "healthy" longer. I am patching a previously knit pair at the moment (botched the heel when they were knit) and then will start on a pair of store bought yarn socks. I do have a stash of sock yarn that's a bit intimidating. In some ways this is like when I used to make all my own clothes. I didn't have some of the little finishing details that commercially sold clothes had, but they were my choice of fabric and colour and design. I always knew I was wearing one of a kind, and it could have been a Vogue designer pattern and now what was on the racks in a department store. I had a white linen Mary Quant design in 1969 that was so cool.

I was hoping to post a picture of the cabled vest but it needs blocking and I just haven't gotten at it. It's finished, just not photogenic.

I saw my surgeon last Thurs and am finally scheduled in to have it opened up and fixed -- but not till Mar. 28th. That leaves me with almost 2 more months of pain and reduced mobility (plus another month or so afterwards). A little Googling showed me that patellar clunk syndrome, which sounds all too bizarre, actually occurs in about 4% of TKR patients and it caused by a build up of scar tissue on the back of the patella. That part is easily fixed. Of course we don't know what went wrong to begin with, but my rheumatologist figured it out in 15 minutes yesterday. I hadn't really liked her after the avuncular manner of my previous dr, but she proved with her knee assessment and willingness to do battle with the pharmacy gods that she is good. My GP has gone away for 2 weeks without notice, and I was reluctant to try and explain my need for drugs to a stranger at his clinic, so I asked my rheumatologist if she'd do it, which would also save ma a wait in the clinic. She got me my scripts and saved me another painful outing. I've ordered groceries delivered today becaus I just couldn't face pushing a trolley (shopping cart) around the supermarket.

Sort of a book report: I started as my new BBBB Angel in the Whirlwind by Benson Bobrick to get a fresh course on Revolutionary America. I had to put it aside because his description of colonial era American did not match what I knew from my own genealogy. It was the same "the settlers came and settled" and even that there was not much interaction between colonies. I now know that between arrival at Plymouth and the revolutionary war my ancestors moved from Massachusetts to Rhode Island to Connecticut to New York and up the Hudson. Maybe the various governments didn't converse but the people were on the move. I've tracked one line back to the early Dutch settlement of Albany which is about as "ethnic" as my tree gets. From my grandfather's WWI draft registration, I found he worked for a company which made machinery for the newfangled cardboard boxes that were replacing wooden boxes. From his WWII draft registration I found he never became an American citizen but remained Canadian. How he got from Canada to Michigan and why he sold the farm in Michigan and moved to Niagara Falls, NY, is still a mystery. Before I came to Australia and honed my ear to new dialects of English, I would have said Canadians sound just like Americans. Now I hear differences in my surgeon (he's Canadian) and on TV. I watched a doco on David Thompson who explored and mapped the western half of Canada and realized how much Americans don't know about Canada. Since I'm carrying a few drops of Ontario blood, I should learn some more.

New BBBB: Deluxe by Dana Thomas about the popularizing of luxury brands. Non-bedtime reading is Michael Connolly's The Reversal on my Kindle and Ken MacLeod's Newton's Wake, where I am sounding out Glaswegian in the far future.

In typical Aussie weather behavior we went from 38C to 9c in a week. My poor tomato plants!

While it's gradually approaching 38C or close to 100F, I am SO glad I installed air conditioning last summer. I just got inside from hanging a load of sheets on the Hills Hoist and this weather can dry them in about 15 minutes. I have been resting my knee, frankly, because it hurts. I never know when the knee cap is going to move freely and when it's going to stuck and then clunk. I can walk alright but any distance is tasking. I can't wait till Thursday and my surgeon's review, and hopefully a date for surgery. I reluctantly cancelled the weaving course. In fact, in my search for a project showed me so many projects I could do on my own if I just was physically able. That was the plan for retirement anyway. The thing on the loom is no longer of interest, so, when I am able, I will cut it off and rewarp it.

The yarn above is my most recent, the MW merino from Laughing Rat. It will be socks. I have finished one of the socks from the merino and bamboo recently spin. I didn't maintain a fine enough gauge when I spun it so I had to go up a size in needles from a 1 to a 2, which I view as a spinning failure. Because I had an alpaca scarf as a weaving goal i am spinning white alpaca at the moment. Very glossy and long locks. I have no idea how it will turn out when plied as yarn.

Bits and pieces from recent musing and activities: heard Timbuk3 on the radio yesterday which prompted me to go and look up their albums on iTunes and download my favourite of their songs "Sample the Dog." Train's song "Soul Sister" made me go look for Mr Mister/Richard Page and found on his website an additional Mr Mister album RCA declined to release after their 2 big LPs back in the '80's. And Richard had a new solo album so had to buy these. His solo album Shelter Me is a favourite. That doesn't mean I don't listen to more current music, from Eric Clapton to Pearl Jam to Snow Patrol. Watched an Aussie movie set in India called The Waiting City on DVD last night. About a young couple going to pick up an adopted baby and the resulting tension and fractures while they wait. Worth a look if you find it. February means the return to prime time of all the American TV I usually watch from Glee to NCIS. I had been filling my evenings with Foxtel, either documentaries like the 4-parter on Captain Cook who is a god to Australia, or just police dramas like Lewis, or the weird Being Human on UKTV. I admit to being a video/TV addict. Since it's when I knit or spin, why not? I am having trouble still with my contact lenses, mostly them getting stuck to my eye so I have to constantly remind myself to blink. Makes reading hard sometime. Almost finished Museum, which really a series of monologues from staff talking about whatever they liked so very uneven and gives very little in the way of detail. I hope that Rogue's Gallery will be better. Flood ended very improbably and I was not impressed. I have started Newton's Wake by Ken Macleod.

Just to remind you that footy season is looming, a bit of eye candy in the form of a hot and sweaty Swan Adam Goodes. The NAB Cup (preseaon) setup has 3 games played between the Swans and the 2 new clubs in Blacktown in Feb, but I think we'll give that a miss since it's an all day affair and I feel for the players if it's as hot as it is now.

Given the scant feedback I got on the fate if the blog, which was all positive and affirming, I guess I'll keep emptying my brain of trivia periodically. Perhaps since most of the feedback was from non-fibre folks, I'll keep that at a lower level, but still post on it, because it's very important to me if not to you.

Friday I was told the weaving class was on and that I would probably be having knee surgery soon. Does the surgery preclude the class participation? Can I miss a few weeks and still do something meaningful? I have spent a lot of time looking at weaving projects in my books and magazines. I would like to use my handspun but my teacher is not enthused about that. Alternatively, I have found a pattern for a series of twill towels that might make a small dent in the stash while letting me practice with my favourite weaving pattern. I'm addicted to twills, so this could be fun.

The surgeon, Dr A, finally admits that there's something mechanically wrong with my knee and believes he needs to open it up and look at it, possibly to adjust my kneecap, possibly to tighten or adjust something else in the knee. It's been 6 months and the knee is still hot and swollen, let alone painful especially when he pokes at the knee cap and says, "Does this hurt?" This time I will demand to speak to the anesthesist prio to surgery so I don't get in the mess I was in the last time. For me, the news I needed surgery again came as a relief.

Spent a little time last night Googling the Bear and found a very touching memorial written by somebody I didn't know that echoed what several other of his co-workers had said. I didn't know his email short-cut for "evil twin" but that was always an in-joke with us. Unfortunately most of what I trawled through was for the actor of the same name who actually doesn't spell his name the same way but the whole world seems to have overlooked that fact. He and the Bear are probably distantly related, but it was a little strange reading all these posts about people who harboured secret passions for the actor who is built about as solidly as the Bear was. I also fired off email to a couple of sites that still had him alive and active to try and remove his name.

Finished Brass Man and started on The Algebraist by Iain Banks, which I replaced paper with Kindle versions so I can read it easier. Am reading Flood by Stephen Baxter in paper It is about sea levels rising and subsequent chaos. BBBB us now Museum, a behind the scenes look at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I didn't visit it as much as MOMA when I lived in New York. My slightly outrageous 9th grade Sunday school teacher once took the class on a field trip to look at the Egyptian stuff. (Same teacher taught us all to make wine which became a science project one year) I'd love to return and look at their costumes, but that is a some day trip.

I watched Nine on DVD last night with zero expectations except I loved the cast members (including Judi Dench, Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman and Sophia Loren). I was underwhelmed by Chicago despite everyone else adoring it, but quite liked this musical. Penelope Cruz as sex kitten mistress was outstanding. And Daniel was wonderful as he always is, becoming Iralian to suit the role. Other movie adventure was to see The King's Speech with J which was very well done and Geoffrey Rush was his usual self. How does Australia produce so many good actors? When Guy Pearce pops up as the Duke of Windsor or in The Hurt Locker I try not to jump. When he appeared at the end of The Road, I shouldn't have been surprised.

I have heard crashing silence from you readers about the continuation of the blog, except a couple I knew read it. Is it worth the effort to do this instead of emails? Still writing so far but I'd really like to know who's out there.

It has been an amazingly soggy time for Canberra in January. It has rained every day this week beginning with a Sunday thunderstorm. I have taken my GP's concern over my swollen leg to heart, and have been spending most days with the leg elevated and gradually the swelling did go down for the first time in several months. This gives me some hope that there is some kind of resolution to the still swollen knee. The knee is not as sore, but is still warm to the touch and quite swollen. I now will get up and about in small doses to give me exercise without further damage.
To the left are some of my first apples. I was wondering how to tell if they were ripe and found one on the ground today and gave it a bite. Scrumptious! I don't know what cultivar they are since I bought a 3-way grafted apple tree and the 3 branches weren't labelled. These are on the small size (but it's a very small tree), about the size of a peach and with a good crunch. Unfortunately I also discovered that the birds had eaten all of my President plums before I even knew they were ripe. They are having at the older plum tree but this year they can have them because I'm not making jam or sauce to sell at work any more. I am getting beans and zucchini so summer is officially here.

To the right is a close-up of the scarf I've knit for X2 who is feeling the cold in Maryland. It was knit sideways using different strands of various hand spun wools I had accumulated. There is white and brown alpaca and some camel down as well. It turned out so well I might knit another, since it didn't take long. I have filled a bobbin with green BFL, and have been wrestling with the dregs of a bag of supposedly white alpaca. Someday all the alpaca will be clean. I have't found a way to tidy this stuff without getting alpaca and dirt everywhere, even with my lap covered in an old bathmat.

Today I joined a new adventure by acquiring an iPhone. My old mobile (cell) had given me long and faithful service, but I really wanted some of the apps like maps, and the photo capability of the camera on the iPhone. I am stumbling around on it learning to type on the teeny keyboard (but it sure makes texting easier) and need to learn which apps I need. I inadvertantly took a video of the Imp looking grumpy because I woke her up.

I finished Mortal Remains and am reading The Brass Man by Neal Asher on my Kindle. I really should read something in paper but I love my Kindle!

When I look at my blog online, it's hard to believe I've been doing this for 5 years. The person I started it for has passed away, but I know there are friends and family out there who read this. Sometome I'd like some feedback telling me what you like or don't like and whether you wish I would publish more often. I would if I knew anybody cared.

Happy New Year to all. Sydney fireworks were great (both times) although the still air led to a cloud of smoke obscuring the bridge during the grand finale. Worth waiting up for every time. One year I'd like to afford to be on a boat right under them as they go off.

So far it's been a quiet and somewhat lonely holiday season here at Chez Swanknitter. I treated myself to a Christmas feast of a selection of cheeses and smoked salmon with crackers followed by brownies, accompanied by a cleanskin Reisling. Today was the first really hot day of the summer, that is, hot enough to turn on the a/c. After all the rain earlier in the season, right now we could use some. The berry bushes are covered in black jewels of flavour. I made a batch of jam, but I've also enjoyed several bowls of berries with cream. These are loganberries and some boysenberries. Their new growth is so enthusiastic this year that it's hard to get near to pick them.

The past few days I've had a recurrence of the knee problems I had before my replacement. I have no idea what has caused this, but the knee is sore and the muscles are spasming again. I think I overdid a bit in my rush back to normalcy and need to take it slower. It's very difficult when so many things cry out for attention not to get into action. My major downfall and character flaw.

I finished In Defense of Food, which should have been a magazine article instead of a book. If you've read The Omnivore's Dilemma, you will know what Michael Pollan is about. I believe him and would like to follow his precepts, except sometimes is difficult to eat the right food when you don't know where it has come from or how it was grown. That's one reason I'm so passionate about my veggie garden. I started The Algebraist by Iain M Banks but my hands struggled with its size. This is the first time I am seriously considering buying the Kindle edition of something I own in paper. I am reading Kathy Reich's Mortal Remains on the Kindle instead.

I think I've reached my destination in the family tree business, altho there is still lots to do yet. I got back to William the Conqueror thru yet another bastard line. So lots of baronets and influential Normans in the tree but I don't need to go any further back than that, but need to document the intervening links. Fortunately there seems to be a fair group of fellow genealogists working the same lines.

On the fibre front, I am knitting socks for myself out of the merino & bamboo blend I spun recently, I am knitting a winter scarf for X2 out of various natural coloured wools. It's knit the long way so there are stripes for each new yarn, It's in seed stitch and is almost done so I'll get a photo before I post it. I could not face any more alpaca to spin so poked around in the stash and pulled out a gorgeous hand painted rope of BFL (blue-face Leicester) in gorgeous mossy greens. It's from Briar Rose and of course it's a dream to spin. I have to pace myself with the spinning and knitting because altho I love doing both, my hands often tell me the next day that I over did it. See a pattern here?

Over the holidays I learned that another dear friend of mine going back to grad school at UNC had passed away the day after my sister. She was only 72. She was first an instructor when I was studying African linguistics, and helped me learn Hausa, which is an extremely difficult language. I got good enough that I could read literacy pamphlets and write simple stories but I am sure I don't retain a single word. She became a friend and we kept in touch through the years. I was unable to meet with her on my last trip to Chapel Hill due to family obligations (hers) and now I know I missed the last chance to see her. She was one of the friends I was hoping to move back to be near.

I haven't died but haven't had much interesting to post about. Canberra has had epic rain and many plans to do things in the yard went by the wayside as I watched horizontal rain hurl itself at my house. I am still doing knee recovery and I had a minor set back as I fell in the front yard and landed on the bad knee. I only tripped and I landed softly but there is now a swelling on my swelling and a faint purple tinge. I've also had many nights when I didn't get to sleep before 3AM which puts a dent in the following day. I thought I'd share some photos today from recent activities. The cupcake tree is from J's 40th birthday party which was 2 weeks ago. I thought both the concept and the photo were nice. I've also been to the movies twice, once for Tron Legacy which I was underwhelmed by but D liked. Yesterday J and I attempted to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and got booked out of the first place we went so had to fill time with eating pizza and other things until we could go to a later screening. It was raining and everyone decided to go to the movies. As we sat in traffic betwen pizza and movie, the thermometer at the ABC office said is was 9C. That is NOT summer weather in Canberra and, while I'm very glad of the rain for my garnden, some sun would be welcome too. It's supposed to get nicer this week before the next wet front hits us on Christmas Day. The movie was very good even if it's a shock to see Harry Potter all grown up. I have also acquired the extended version of Avatar on DVD which should give me something to watch over the holidays.

The socks at left are my latest FO (finished object) and are knit out of a yarn called Tofutsies which has both soy and cotton in it. They are very soft and will make good summer socks, should we ever get summer. The Aran vest is on the home stretch as I finish off the seed stitch borders on neckline and sleeve openings. I've promised X2 a scarf knit out of the various different natural coloured wool I've spun so I rounded up 5 different wools, and two colours of alpaca.

The photo at the top was taken in 1915 in Niagara Falls, New York, and is of my grandmother Charlotte Rhone Hotchkiss and her mother Josephine Tyler Rhone. The genealogical trail has been my main occupation while it rained. All the American ancestors are well and truly documented and I definitely go back to Massachusetts in 1635. I am still on the trail of the further back and trying to untangle the mess that people have made by entering wrong data on Ancestry. My librarian self wants to do authority control on all these names, when the Radcliffs spelled their name 4 different ways. I thought I was descended from the Count of Anjou but it seems that the person I am really descended from was (ahem) born out of wedlock, but, as things happened back then, still was an influential Norman ruler. I am hoping that whoever did the research on these folks on the Wikipedia knows what they are talking about because I'm taking their word for some of this. Of course, there are the occasional clanger like someone born in England in 1011 and supposedly died in Zimbawe. Don't think so. They were still in "the world is flat" zone in those days.

I read Janet Evanovich's latest on my Kindle and will start Kathy Reichs soon. Meanwhile I'm read In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. I promise to give up junk food next year now that I know what some of the ingredients do to you. I'm basically a cook from scratch person so I don't eat a lot of the food products he describes and I definitely eat a lot of fresh fruit and little meat. I never eat fast food like McDonalds and I don't count artisan pizza (or home made) as junk. I have some guilty pleasures because I like the crunch of chips but I must be strong. Not to mention I need to shed weight gained while I was not allowed to get any exercise. I hope I'm allowed some fresh berries with cream because I've got LOTS of berries.

It's been more resting of the knee and therefore not much to write about. I am desperate to clean house and work in the garden but am forbidden. Meanwhile I've been burrowing away on Ancestry and to my utter astonishment have multiple lines on my mother's side that are traced back not just to the founding of New England but back 600 years of English history to the Norman invasion. I find this completely mind-blowing. Apparently (the documentation search will now follow) I am descended through a semi-noble class of folk, not high enough to be more than a Sir or a baron but someone who was sheriff of an area or the king's representative. I have been plowing through a whole branch of the Dean family, who leased part of the Forest of Dean from the king and paid him 3 shillings a year for it. Many branches are from the western part of England, Shropshire, Cornwall, etc. although there was one branch that ended up on the Welsh side. You may address me as the Baroness de Corbet. Ha. At least I would have had servants.

Canberra has had almost 2 weeks of rain. Sometimes downpours, sometimes passing showers, but more rain than I have seen in 20 years. We have full reservoirs for the first time in a very long time. My plants all look healthy although I now do battle with snails. I've had several lovely suppers with mounds of fresh peas which do taste better than frozen. If only you didn't have to plant so many of them to get a decent serving. I've also had a few bowls of strawberries & cream. The jasmine has popped into bloom making the yard fragrant. I'm about to start getting berries as the first of the canes on the front of the shed are beginning to turn dark, and it is usually around Christmas when I'm drowning in berries. I turned some of the lovely rhubarb into a delicious cake for J's birthday. Rhubarb and berry jam?

I have also spent a lot of time not sleeping, as in going to bed at the usual time of around 10.30 PM and still being wide awake at 2AM, or 4AM, night after night. It's thrown my whole body out of rhythm and nothing seems to help. I take the normal dose of sleeping tablets that are supposed to work within an hour and read my BBBB, but nothing happens. Said BBBB is currently Collapse by Jared Diamond, who wrote Guns, Germs, and Steel, another great work of social history. So I get up and try to do something boring. One night I was washing dishes and cleaning the stove at 2 AM. Sometimes it's genealogy. I end up sleeping the morning away to make up.

Otherwise I am glued to my Kindle reading Neal Asher's Polity Agent. He writes the most energetic and imaginative space opera and it's always fun to read his Cormac novels. I've got another one on the Kindle along with Janet Evanovich's latest and the same of Katheir Reichs. I must address the paper book backlog soon.

I have spun some brown alpaca and need to ply it. I've almost finished a pair of summer socks and am in the home stretch on the brown vest. I looked at the black alpaca and think I probably need to card it, becase it isn't long enough and is too slippery to spin from the lock. I am going to sign up for the weaving course at the ANU that I took before, this time working on a project, either double weave or a complex twill. A double weave table runner might be something good to do with supervision. The same teacher will be there so I am in good hands. Classes don't start till March so I can do some looking for projects in the meantime.

I am shocked that so much time has slipped away from me without a blog post. Not that there is that much new to post about. My knee is healing slowly but still has some frightening symptoms. The swelling at the back of the knee is hard and resists bending. On the front, if I bend and push back, as in pushing a chair away from a table to stand up, that knee joint feels like it is coming unstuck and then pops back into place. Scarey and painful. My surgeon said that was just the plastic cartilage slipping into place but it just feels wrong and frightening. I have been sleeping a lot, too much I'm sure, but when my activities are so restricted, there is only so much reading and watching TV one can do.

On the fibre front, I have been spinning brown alpaca and I've almost gotten to the bottom of the bag of unwashed alpaca. I came in one day to find the Imp asleep in the bag of alpaca which was not appreciated. Very soft to be sure. I've plied the pale grey Shetland, and need to wind it off. I had promised it to BFLB to knit a lace shawl but it looks like I'll have to teach myself to knit lace. I am knitting myself a pair of socks out of Tofutsies yarn which has a soy and cotton component and is quite soft. Blues and purples. I have also started on the last piece of the vest, knitting from the armhole to the shoulder of the left front. This has taken far too long, but I got out of the habit of knitting and need to give myself a kick by finishing something.

I am now "officially" retired, having started receiving pension payouts. I finally hired someone to do a partial cleanup of the front and back yards. He is also mowing my lawn while I am laid up. I managed to get the bare minimum of plants in the ground: tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, pumpkin, and beans. The peas planted in Sept. are now yielding pods and there's lots of rhubarb. If I could stand in the kitchen long enough I might make a rhubarb pie.

Reading takes up a lot of time. I read Zero History by William Gibson on my Kindle and really liked it except it didn't seem to be "about" anything. I'm now reading Polity Agent by Neil Asher on the Kindle. My BBBB of Oracle Bones was finished and I recovered Good Wives from under the bed and finished that. The research done in court proceedings, wills, letters and other documents to describe women's live in the northern part of New England 1650-1750 was very pertinent since I have a number of ancestors in that window and I have yet to do research on their lives. Current BBBB is The Meaning of Everything by Simon Winchester about the OED. I am now reading High King of Montival by S.M. Sterling so I can send it to X2 for his reading.

My genealogy is back to a Johannes Quackenbush who lived in Albany NY around the last quarter of the 17th century. I know from my history reading that the Dutch had trading posts there to trade with the Iroquois for furs so the influx of Dutch names shouldn't be surprising.

Nothing's been posted because there's precious little to report on being confined to zero activity. My knee did get better but cranked up again once I put weight on it. The dr now suspects a stress fracture and I had a bone scan on Friday to look for it. I am afraid that the recommended treatment is more bed rest. The fact that it does get better seems to indicate that rest does help. I am determined to get a minimal garden in: beans, tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers and pumpkin. I weeded enough of one raised bed to uncover the strawberries and make room for beans, and started on the second for tomatoes and zukes. I've got a garden person in to clean up a lot of the mess that was beyond me, like removing dead trees. I'll have him mow the lawn until I'm back on my feet, though I can certainly afford for him to continue. I can't stand up long enough to cook so I've been living on frozen dinners and grilled cheese sandwiches, having my groceries delivered. Very boring.

Otherwise I read, watch TV, play mahjong, card alpaca, spin alpaca, etc. I've finished J's red & white socks and started a pair for me out of Tofutsies, the soy/wool mix, in blues and greens. I need more summer weight socks and there's plenty to knit in the stash, so I plug away. I finished the Sean Williams & Shane Dix Echoes of Earth, but was suitably unimpressed to read the rest if the trilogy. I am now reading William Gibson's Zero History on my Kindle and am loving it. Simultaneously I'm reading The Dragon Scroll by I. J. Parker, which is a murder mystery set in 11th century Japan. Have almost finished my BBBB Oracle Bones, about modern China.

As expect BFLB only lived to see Nov 1, which was her & St. H's wedding anniversary. I did get to talk to her once but she had little voice power. H told me she was smiling and mouthing words back but her lungs were too far gone to speak. She passed relatively peacefully leaving us all bereft. I will try calling St H to keep in touch. I was so glad the hospice let her have the cats with her. Duke probably thought all the fuss was over him.

1980 was probably the peak of my adult life, although I didn't know it then. I was healthy, very happily married, in my dream job, and the future looked bright. As the '80's progressed bad things happened. My mother died of breast cancer in 1981 and I felt numb with pain for about a year. She was 74. A few years later I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and began the dance with pain. At the same time I did my right knee and had the first arthroscopic surgeries. Shortly there after, I was diagnosed with kerataconus and started the routine of eye exams and new contacts every six months or so until I had both corneas replaced in 1989/90. During the end of the '80's, my marriage fell apart as my husband was away on business more and more, and I was more consumed by moving up the food chain at work.

Enter a brief interlude when I met the Bear, shed my old life, and ran away to Australia. Bliss, aside from financial pinches until I reentered the workforce determined to be a drone. Then fibromyalgia struck me with its fairy wand and I knew serious pain, daily pain, pain that ruled my life. I really missed my friends back in the US because I had so few friends of my own age and background here. I cannot fault the dear friends I made working at the Library and they have helped me survive a lot, but I'm old enough to be their mothers. I lost one of my US friends who shared chronic illness in the early 2000's and it hit me very hard. She was one of the inner circle and losing her was a blow that took a long while to recover from. Then there was the Bear. You blog-readers know what I went through 3 years ago and I haven't recovered yet. Then there was my sister this year. On the visit to the US for her memorial service I made sure I made time to see BFLB in Ohio, who has been suffering from kidney cancer for 10 years. I never dreamt it would be the last time I saw her, probably the last time I will speak to her. In the past 2 weeks the cancer has caught up to her and the doctors have run out of miracle treatments (and she had her share of whiz-bang medical technology used on her). As of today she is in a hospice and is unresponsive. BFLB is also one of the inner circle, the one who was my knitting guru, the one who managed the dream of building a house in the country on a nice block of land. Her husband, St. H., was a good friend to the Bear and the four of us enjoyed our visits together. Now I worry for St. H. because he has to go through the deepest valley of losing your true love. He's known this day would come for 10 years but I don't think that makes it any easier then it was for me who only really knew what was happening the last 2 weeks of the Bear's life.

I feel like this has been cumulative and I don't know how to handle any more grief. But I also know that being of a certain age means you know more people who are likely to leave this plane in the coming years. I'm not a religious person so I have no firmly held beliefs as to what lies after death. Their spirits all live on with those who loved them; maybe that's what life after death means. But we who are left behind feel an awful hole in our souls where that bit that was bound to them leaves with them. I will always love those people listed above and still think about my mother almost daily. I still wake up thinking the Bear is still here. Think of your loved ones and cherish those still with you.

On my own personal battle, my surgeon has instituted 2 weeks complete rest for the knee, trying to let it heal. I hesitate to speak too loudly but after 4 days, it is less painful and slightly less swollen. I sincerely hope this most annoying restriction works, because I am going mad being kept away from my garden at the peak of its neediness.

Today we start with photos. To the left is the last of the black alpaca, now sorted, deseeded and clean.

Some of it is long enough to spin from the locks, while other bits will have to be carded. It was very soft when I was cleaning it so I have high hopes of the end result. I am currently spinning some of the pale grey Shetland I brought back from the States.





To the right is the superwash merino/bamboo
blend I spun a while back. It feels very light
so I am hoping it will make decent light weight socks.







I finished Rainbows End and enjoyed it completely. Especially as it takes place in San Diego which is one of those places I'd love to live (and we almost did via the Bear's job). I am now reading Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash, which sometimes feels like I've read it before but then a lot of his images have been "borrowed" by other authors since it was written 20 years ago.

I had my doctor's visit today and he is still mystified by why my knee remains swollen. He aspirated (stuck a needle in) it and drew out some fluid to be sent off to the lab. I have to get another X-ray and see him in 2 weeks. We are hoping there is no infection because that would be very bad but what else is going on is a mystery.

I spent a very lazy day in bed yesterday while thunderstorms threatened but never materialized. Today is warm and sunny and my knee feels even worse after being stuck with a needle. So much for gardening. My car is covered in pollen and windblown wisteria blossoms since that is in full bloom. My baby apple trees are blooming, as is the pear. The backyard is alive with the humming of bees.

Today is the first official day of retirement. If it weren't for the knee, I would be dancing in the street, or at least in the backyard. Instead here I am writing in my blog, feeling depressed. I have been thinking about the Bear a lot as his birthday approaches. I keep going over what I could have done to prevent his early demise. What if I had thrown a tantrum early on and threatened to leave him if he didn't stop drinking? He would have known I'd never leave him. Should I have accompanied him to the GP every time to tell him what the Bear didn't? I think of all the wonderful times we had and then the image of him in the oncology ward comes up and I lose it. If he were here there wouldn't be a thought in my head about going back to the US, but that seems my best option now. Meanwhile I can still sometimes smile and think of my dear boy.

This Friday was officially my last day of work. Thursday was the last day I was physically present and had my going away party. The kind folks I worked with combined enough money for me to buy a Kindle (Hooray for the weak US dollar!) as I discovered my weakened hands are having trouble holding books. It don't mean I will stop buying books because I can't imagine a knitting book on a Kindle! Best sellers I don't intend on keeping can be in digital format. While I really enjoyed the work I did, I was having more and more difficulty actually making it to work. I could have done large chunks of it from home but that is frowned upon for OH&S reasons. What difference does it make to the end project if I do authority work lying in bed?

My current difficult-to-read paperback (bound tightly and printed into the spine) is Rainbows End by Vernor Vinge. I had admired his earlier stuff but thought he had retired or died, so finding a new book as of 2006, that is actually about digitizing library books is a treat. Wearable hardware and constant connection are among the future (2025) as he imagines it. I almost think that free wireless broadband access should be a utility that everybody should have access to.

The genealogy research has so far gotten me back through the Stanton line on my mother's side to the Puritans who came to New England in 1635. I've learned about the Revolutionary Battle of Long Island (which I don't remember from school) and wonder if some of the mysterious movements of some ancestors to Canada were because they were Royalists. Ancestry is a very deep well of information and the farther back you go, the more people are related to you. I am technically an only child but I now have thousands of relatives.

I've had two dream in a row where i was working on a cruise ship. What does this mean? I'd do the cruise around Hawaii again in a heartbeat.

I watched the movie District 9 on DVD last night and found it very disturbing. The new improved Peter Jackson seemed to think it partly a comedy, but this from a man who used to make splatter horror films. I've lived in the southern hemisphere long enough that I can understand South African English better than I can some of the varieties of the King's English I hear on British TV. I thought it a cheap shot to paint Nigerians as the bad guys instead of using native black South Africans. Politically correct but a cheap shot. I encourage watching the movie but be prepared for unpleasant ethical responses as well as a lot of shooting and splatter.

I was planning on a lot of garden work but we have rain forecast for the next 3 days. Maybe I'll just start my squash seedlings and do housework.

I am just in from mowing the lawn. I am pooped but my knee is no worse than it would have been walking around inside. I am itching to dig up all those dandelions I mowed and trim the edges and weed the veggie beds and finish the berries and.... but I won't. There is more asparagus to pick and I generated a lot of clover mulch for the various beds. I was momentarily stalled when a flock of about a dozen silvereyes descended on the two junior plums which are in bloom. It never occurred to me that they were nectar eaters but those sharp little bills are perfect for sticking in flower blossoms. As long as I didn't move they were happy to hop from flower to flower, hanging upside down when necessary, drinking their fill about 8 feet from me. When the flock devolved to two birds I apologised and restarted the lawn mower.

My knee has made no progress from my last post. I went in to work on Thursday to attend the festivities around the Director-General's retirement from the Library. She is a very nice person and she will be missed. I spent the rest of the time getting signatures on my exit documents proving I didn't have any books checked out or laptops borrowed. That involved walking all over the Library so I left a little early and went to pick up my new contacts. They are a bit uncomfortable but new lenses always take a while to break in. They are also green, so my eyes are their natural colour for the first time in my lens-wearing life.

I have D's second sock 75% finished and I have been switching over to finishing off the black alpaca while watching the fourth and final season of The Unit. It was one of my favourite TV shows that was shown sporadically on Aussie free-to-air TV and now pops up on cable. The characters are so well acted and the plots a constant string of James Bond/Bourne exploits. Sure, I know it's not real, although the writers came up with the idea about holding captives on a ship at sea before it was known the CIA was doing just that. I suppose 4 seasons is all that could be expected, but their final season spent a lot of time in Afghanistan, which is an ongoing series of its own. I'll have to make do with Burn Notice.

My current reading is The Road by Cormac McCarthy, which so far is bleak.

My genealogical investigations turned up my great-grandfather working at the Schenectady Locomotive Works according to the 1880 census. Sometime after that the family moved out of New York but the 1900 census was burned in a fire. Good Wives has also shed light on early New England life where the upper class employed the lower class to sweep their floors and mind their children. The idea of the communion of the town only stretches so far and didn't stretch to equality of the sexes much less to class rank. It seems that the Puritans only wanted to escape parts of Old England.

There has been no blogging because I have done nothing but lie around and heal. I attempted to go back to work last week and almost made it through two days but then couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. My doctor doesn't know what is going on but thinks it will "settle down" in time. It does seem to be very slowly getting better. The redness (not bruising but a red discoloration) had subsided a bit and the swelling has gone down a little. I have swelling in the foot on that leg, which to me means there is something going on in the knee, because I had a lot of trouble with that after the surgery. It gets very stiff if I stand or sit for any period of time, and getting it mobile again takes some concerted effort. I have full range of movement and weight bearing; it's just sore and swollen and stiff. This has been very discouraging and means that I will not see much of work up to my last day before retirement. To be honest, I think there's a whole lot of things going wrong with my body at the moment and I think they may be related to stress that started up when my sister was dying and has not let up since. The combination of the trip in the US, coming home and immediately seriously injuring my knee, and simultaneously facing the end of my working life (however much I might be looking forward to having my time my own) has taken its toll. My right arm from shoulder to hand is very sore (muscles not joints). I am depressed in the sense that I recognize the clinical signs, and depression from being unhealthy leads to feeling worse. Now that I am still living in a house with a garden, I'm dying to get out and play in it but all I've managed to do was plant some peas. The lawn could feed a sheep or two. Since I am unable to physically do any of the things I wanted to do when I had all this free time, I feel pretty useless. The cat and I lie in bed while I read or nap. I get up in the evenings for TV and knitting. This has gone on for far too long. I'm going to attempt a minor excursion tomorrow just to see if I can. Grocery shopping last week nearly killed me. I did get the electrician in to replace all the light fittings which look much nicer, especially the light over the kitchen table; I didn't realize how dim it was in there until I had a new lamp. I must try to get to my optometrist and pick up replacement contact lenses as one has a chip and the other is just too old and gunky.

Swans news: They lost to the Bulldogs in the second round of the finals. It was a tight match and they only lost by a small margin but the Dogs just fought harder than my boys did. A sad end to Roosy's coaching career but at least he's going to stay around the club so his mentoring role can continue.

Book report(s): I finished the series that began with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tonight. The second and third novels should be read as one and don't expect the same sorts of fireworks as in the first one. I literally could not put the last one down tonight until I finished it. There was a bit of bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo in the middle made difficult for me (who has a horrible time remembering names) trying to keep all the Swedish characters straight. Definitely worth the read but I wouldn't be surprised if people get turned off during the second & third because you want to shake these people and tell them to pay attention. My BBBB The Great Game is also finished and I've started reading Good Wives by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I've gone from Central Asia in the 19th century to New England in the early years of settlement. Since I've found so many of the strands on my family tree all go back to settlers in Massachusetts in the second half of the 17th century, I thought I'd read about what life was like for them.

There has been little to report because I have been unable to do much the past couple of weeks. My knee has still been very swollen and painful and
I have been unable to sit at a table or desk for any significant time. The doctor now does not know what is causing the problem. There is quite a bit of discolouration (not bruising) on the knee. It is gradually getting better. I was thinking last week that I might make it back to work this week but I didn't think I could sit at a desk for 5 hours. It feels pretty good today, but the test will be how it feels tomorrow. I have had some mystifying blood test results so I am due to see the doctor again this Weds.

My photographic contributions to the blog today are the latest pair of socks finished, which are not very interesting but some times we just need socks. The floral arrangement is from the back yard: daffs, hellebores, and Earlicheer narcissus. Fortunately I no longer have a flower eating cat so I can enjoy having flowers inside.

The garden needs attention desperately. We've had lots of rain and there is a lot of weeding and probably a lawn mowing needed but I am not yet up to that vigorous work. I picked one stalk of asparagus today!

Swan news: We won our elimination final in spite of ourselves. As is often the case, they fell asleep in the third quarter and almost had the game snatched away from them. We had stunning exhibitions of players running into each other, passing the ball to the opposition, hitting the goalpost, and other unpleasant tactics. However, I am very pleased with how well the new boys are stepping up and making a real contribution. Losing Kirk (as well as the god-like Roos) will be tough but things don't look as dim as I thought they would be at the start of the season. Our next match is against the Bulldogs, whom we beat 2 weeks ago so in theory we should be able to progress in the finals.

Well, it's not a bone ripped lose. The piece of bone seems to have been there all along and I've just manged a soft tissue injury to my knee. I can already feel it on the mend and I intend to live the last week of my working life at work. I can sit now without undue pain and walking is pretty OK but I get stiff in whatever position I leave the knee in for any substantial period. Today I worked a little while on the berries and all my leg joints from ankle upward are complaining about the balancing act I have to do to prune and tie them up. I will spend a quiet day with the laundry basket tomorrow making dent in ironing.

Swans news: Despite my doom staying they played an impressive last two matches and are in the finals with a chance. Since the young players are stepping up and playing as the were part of the machine, I'm trying my to get too excited. I'd still love to go but have no companion and should go buy tickets on Monday.

I've been spending my evening sorting through black alpaca, removing the short cuts and VM and putting the mostly clean stuff in a bag to wash. This the end of the black alpaca and I have a few ideas floating around to for turning it into something useful.
In the meantime I've been reading Pushing Ice by Alasair Reynolds, the beginning of which is more accessible to new readers of his work, but it gets plenty weird toward the end. I've also been pushing my family histories back to them all arriving in Massachusetts around 1630. I guess it was inevitable they all married each other.

Well, I don't know if my medical news is good or not. When I saw my surgeon on Thurs. he said those words I have heard several doctors say over my body: "I've never seen anything like it." I haven't torn my ACL because I no longer have one. It appears from the X-ray that I have ripped a piece of bone off my leg. How is a mystery and I had a C/T scan today to get a better look at the offending area. Should this actually be the case, there is no cure but rest and healing, another 4 weeks of it. I also have to be sure I don't lose range of motion in the new knee while the bone heals. I may be lucky to get a week back at work before I retire. This is not how I imagined my career at the Library ending, with a whimper, to be sure.

Next week will be the 19th anniversary of the wedding of me and my Bear. It seems a long time and just yesterday. I still can't believe I've been a widow for 3 years. Life throws strange things at you, some spectacularly good and some woefully awful.

Knews of the knee: It's amazing how your horizon shrinks when you're injured. I was planning and thinking years ahead last week and now my life is aimed at Thursday when I see my surgeon. He has always been speedy in scheduling procedures so I hope this agony has an end. From my Internet research I think I have torn my ACL while putting on shoes and don't know if it's because the knee replacement isn't totally healed. So It's the RICE routine (rest, ice, compression, elevation) and judicious use of painkillers. I have a TV with DVDs (Dexter, Weeds), my Macbook with videos (Grey's Anatomy, Torchwood). I guess voting next Saturday will be an adventure.

It seems that I neglected to post that my battle with Wooly Knob Fiber Mill ended when they delivered the fleeces they had processed to BFLB's place the day before I left. I had brought vacuum bags and we managed to squeeze the fleeces into my luggage. There are 4 Shetland fleeces and a BFL and are beautiful: soft and lovely to spin. I have just finished spinning the merino/bamboo blen, so I might take on one of the Shetlands next. Some shades of fawn, blank and white.

I've enjoyed the benefits of our HD sports channel to watch baseball two mornings in a row. I miss baseball so watching any team is fun. Remembering the cadence, the language, the overwhelming statistics, remembering my childhood being linked to baseball (it was the only sport my father watched). My first husband taught me how to boxscore baseball and took me to my only major league games and frequent college games in the Chapel Hill. There a relaxed atmosphere of baseball that is different from cricket. It took me several years to stop comparing the two sports. The memories flood back but I won't bore you. 50+ years of watching it.

Swans news: somehow they managed to win yesterday and despite themselves remain in the eight. They don't have a hope I think of winning against the top of the ladder teams so they won't last the finals. I hope J and I make it to more matches next year.

Book report: A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, who wrote The Kite Runner. It is the story of two women in Afghanistan from the time of the Soviet invasion to the rule of the Taliban. We women of the affluent west with our TVs and dishwashers and comfortable, independent lives with law and culture supporting us have no idea what our sisters under the rule of Islamic fundamentalism endure. No doubt there are women in the west who live with brutal violent husbands but the law, in theory, is on the victim's side. In Kabul, women have no rights and women get their freedom only by turning the violence against their oppressors and then paying the ultimate price. The book is an agonizing and often depressing read, but one that reminds us perhaps of why we are fighting in this country against these brutes who believe they have divine right to abuse women. Men who demand artists to paint pants on the legs of flamingos because that much bare leg, even on a bird, is a sin.