Well, I told you I was wondering why I wrote this blog and I haven't come up with enough things of import in the past 2 months to write about. I have come out of my depression without intervention by a professional (fortunate, since my appointment with the shrink isn't until April). I have started work at the Library as a volunteer doing not very interesting material but it was good to see all the friendly faces. My physical well being improves. My back no longer hurts except for occasions when anybody's back would hurt: long time spent bending over, etc. I continue to have pain in my leg muscles after I walk any distance which is disappointing because walking was how I wanted to get fit. One day of walking means I am very sore the next day. I've had my enthusiastic Bhutanese gardener go after weeds in my garden. The Canberra weather has been extremely bizarre: cold and wet which is hardly a typical summer. My tomatoes don't know what to do when we had an all-time record low for January of 1C. They produce a handful of tomatoes. The lima beans are still going and have produced pods. I made 2 batches of zucchini pickle relish from blimps produced in the garden. We are at this moment having a hailstorm. Housewise, I got the drains cleaned out, have been nagging my gutter repairman to do the job he signed up for in November, and had to get my old DVD player wired into the new digital set-up because my new whiz-bang DVD player/recorder won't play region 1 DVDs and there is no hack for it that I could find. Since I have hundreds of American DVDs, this was not permissible so I had to take a step back to an older DVD player that has been hacked.

Otherwise, I read, watch TV, spin, work on my family history. The photo above is one I scanned from a collection of photos my sister had. I've made a couple of contacts with distant, previously unknown, relatives. I managed to get some data for my MIL's genealogy search as well. Books: I finished Judgement of Caesar by Stephen Saylor. I love his Roman mysteries and have read every one. I also finished Stephen Fry's second volume of autobiography, The Fry Chronicles. I raced through the Steve Jobs biography which I found absolutely riveting. What a complicated, driven, genius of a man. We will miss his mark on society since he personally approved of every tiny detail of every Apple product. I have been an Apple fan for a long time and now know some of the why. I bought a first generation Macintosh the first month they were on the market. My BBBB is now is Thames by Peter Ackroyd. My previous BBBBs proved not to be sleep inducing and are therefore languishing half read. I've been reading science fiction on my Kindle. I go through so many hard science/space opera novels that it hardly bears listing them.

I spun coffee brown BFL, some hand dyed BFL in blues, browns, and roses, and am now into 15 oz of merino & tencel in a lovely aqua/sea green. Bought two lots under different colour names from two different vendors and it turned out to be the same thing. I spin so much and knit so little that I wish I could sell some. My current new favourite TV show is Homeland partly because I love Damien Lewis. I am also a fan of the Canadian series The Republic of Doyle and Flashpoint. I am watching the British mini-series Exile because I love John Simm.

Next week I see the eye surgeon, have a mammogram, and I intend to make appointments for my teeth, the cat's annual check-up, and my hair. I am finally tired of the locks enough that they're coming off again. This weekend I am going blackberrying in the state forest with some of the girls. This assumes there are blackberries given the weird weather and that it doesn't rain.

Is that enough for 2 months? Don't know whether there is enough interest in what I do write, but I'll continue to update my waiting audience when there is something to post. Maybe after I start the weaving course in 2 weeks.

I really wore myself out last week because my head was convinced that I was back to full strength while my body very much was not. I did a lot of walking, especially around the newly enlarged mall in Belconnen, partly to get new lights for my Christmas tree. Putting the tree up was part of my mind set of being on the road to recovery so, although it's a bit late, it's up and that's what counts. Fortunately the Imp shows no interest in the tree or its ornaments, although I never put anything breakable or edible on the bottom. I have had a cat that ate all the straw ornaments so I am cautious.

The weather is stuck in some other time dimension. We've continued to have rain (thunderstorms yesterday) and it's only around 20C and not very sunny. I've said it before but it's still true: this is not normal for Canberra in December. The garden loves it. The beans are blooming. So are the tomatoes but the weather doesn't suit them.

My BBBBs have been American Jezebel and Language Death and they have both been too stimulating and I haven't been sleeping. The David Crystal book inspired me with his rationales for multilingualism, including that being bilingual stimulates your brain. I have studied a long list of languages but the only one I feel comfortable in taking up again is Spanish, partially because it is an "easy" language. It's not hard to pronounce, it seems closer to Latin which helps me out, and I did study it intensely as recently (ha) as university. I have more years invested in French (5) but I can still read it with the help of a dictionary. So I got some simple Spanish stories for my Kindle and a dictionary for my iPhone and am going to try reviving my Spanish neurons. Even tho I taught Swahili in grad school, not much of it remains in my brain and I have little opportunity to use it. At least with Spanish I can read labels on stuff imported from the US! For those who only know me in the Swanknitter persona, I got a masters degree in Linguistics & Non-Western Languages, specializing in African languages and before that studied Latin, French and Spanish. Lack of jobs in the field shunted me into library work. I love learning languages, but they are like puzzles to me; once I figure out how they work I lose interest so rarely become fluent without constant exercise. My new BBBB is Foreign Devils on the Silk Road, which follows on from previous BBBBs about Central Asia. My Kindle book is another Neal Asher Ian Cormac novel, Line War.

My dear MIL is coming for a visit over Christmas, which overjoys me. I haven't seen her in over a year due to my knee. Once I got the word on the cataracts, driving to Sydney to her new home seemed beyond me and would put off a reunion till sometime around June next year. So seeing her over the holidays is the best present ever. Each year without the Bear is hard. I hope someday it won't be so raw.

I finished the handspun sock yarn for D. and It turned out really well, with the colours lining up almost exactly in plying. I finished a pair of Opal cotton socks last night and bought up 2 more balls of it (since I found out it was discontinued and I really like it). The last pair was grey/blue/pink and the next pair will be coral. I am spinning some brown wool of unknown origin but those blankets deserve stripes. I finished spinning what I think was 4 oz. of wool/silk/mohair blend in autumn colours. Have no idea what I'll do with it!

It's 2 AM and the Imp has woken me up twice since I turned the light off. It's our first really warm night this summer and I think she thinks I should be awake to share it with her. No thank you. I may have to eject her from my bedroom (and lose air circulation) if she won't settle down. Aside from walking around on me and demanding to be petted, she yowls.

The knee progresses but the back is still weak. I walked three city blocks on Friday and was barely able to keep upright at the end. But I also worked an hour in the garden mulching and weeding and was sore but managed to actually accomplish something. I'm getting good returns of strawberries but the spinach has given up in the heat. One of the varieties of pea has finished but another is still coming in if this hot spell passes.

My city visit was to see my optometrist because of semi-constant headaches, especially when I try to do close work. I feel like I'm straining to see. The verdict was unexpected: cataracts, when I was expecting new lenses. I see the surgeon in Feb just before the next weaving course. I hear the recovery time is short so I may be able to do both. The next weaving course is on textural weaving like waffle weave and seersucker, both of which I wanted to learn, so I really want to take it. I can drive now but don't trust myself in locations like city traffic (I know you who snort that Canberra has city traffic but we have sufficient concentrations of bad drivers). I think D doesn't want to relinquish driving my car but it's nice to have somebody there to take up the slack when I tire myself out. It's only been a month since surgery so I am entitled to longer recovery time.

I'm reading Martin Cruz Smith's Three Stations on my Kindle and have downoaded Steve Job's autobiography. My BBBB is American Jezebel about Anne Hutchinson, She co-founded Rhode Island with my ancestor Roger Williams based on radical ideas about freedom of religion and payment to the the Indians for taking over their lands,

I am alive, I'm home, I can walk and I am sitting almost comfortably at my desk with my feet flat on the floor and knees bent. The right leg is still relatively weak after not being used for 6 months, but it gets stronger every day. I can walk without support but I still do my exercises. At the strong encouragement of the physios in the hospital (including the physio from hell I met on my first knee replacement), I made an appointment with a physio closer to home and got some additional exercises from him. Since I've only been home a week I think I am doing well.

At right is the only knitting I can show for the last month, a pair of socks from Noro's Kureyon sock. The colours are obviously a knockout but the yarn itself is rather harsh feeling and is spun no better than my handspun. If the wow factor of Noro is the colours, I can dye yarn just as striking. I've started a new pair of socks out of Opal Cotton in greys and soft pink.

My spinning output has been the one pound of 50/50 merino & tussah silk in a deep forest green. I got 4 hanks out of the pound from Yarn or a tale which cost all of $21, but I haven't counted yardage yet. It's very soft and is a sport weight. I've been thinking of knitting one of those long skinny scarves that people seem to wrap around their necks these days and this silk mix would be a good candidate. The next spin will be some superwash merino in hot pink, neon green and turquoise for the sock hoon, D.

My other preoccupation since I've been home is the release of Coldplay's new album. I am a very devoted fan of theirs and would love to see them perform live. I'll have to keep my ear closer to the grapevine to find out when or if they are coming to Australia and try my best to get a ticket. I know nobody else my age or younger who shares my musical tastes so I'll go alone if I have to. I've been watching a lot of their Youtube videos and phrases from their songs are running around my head 24/7. Any Sydney folks out there who would go with me?

Speaking of which, while I've been home, I've been thinking a lot about this blog. The person for whom I wrote is no longer here. I know I have a handful of devoted readers but they are not interested in knitting and spinning for the most part. This blog may have passed it's use-by-date. Facebook connects me with a lot of my friends that wouldn't read my blog. This platform may become more irregular and be confined to crafts, books, movies and such. Once again I ask for feedback altho I know who most of my readers are. Anybody anonymous please let me know why you read?

Book reports: I finished In Siberia by Colin Thrubon and it was just as interesting as all his other travel books. He goes to places ordinary travelers wouldn't and seeks out unusual people. This was a picture of post-Soviet Siberia, which is crumbling like many of the other bits of the Union. He visits prison camps and Old Believers, Lake Baikal and the Amur River. I am now reading both Language Death by David Crystal, which invigorates those latent linguistic routines in my brain, and Will the Boat Sink the Water? about the plight of the peasant in rural China. For regular reading, there's Steven Saylor's Judgement of Caesar, and on my Kindle some ripping space opera.

Insomnia. Just when I think I have it beaten, here I am at 2AM too awake. My GP had me try melatonin on top of my regular sleeping medication but I can't detect any improvement. I read some on Colin Thubron's In Siberia about Stalin's work/death camps, had the Imp settled in my armpit and thought my day-long headache would appreciate a rest. Wrong. The cat started snoring like a tiny feline trumpet, my breath was wheezy and congested (a common condition), and I had songs from West Side Story running through my head from the last episode of Glee. So I gave up, got up to take something for my headache and a bonus sleep aid and pulled out my faithful iPhone. I was amused to find that my prescription sleeping pills are illegal in the US and that I was forbidden to bring them into the country. That would effectively bar me from re-entry since I can't sleep without them and sometimes not with them. I wonder what they propose I do in order to visit my homeland. I know the last time I accidentally went over without them I was miserable and sleepless for a week until J posted them to me.

Otherwise, the news here is good. My wound is almost completely healed and I expect Plastics to set me free next Tues. I see my surgeon the same day and I think the Oct 17 date will become confirmed for my new knee. I realize recovery will take longer this time but I'm very motivated.

I've been reading Stephen Fry's autobiography which makes me realize what a brilliant mind he has even if he did go off the rails in his youth. As a girl brought up in the 1950's it was also a window into all those childhood boy things I always suspected happened whether one was gay or not, but polite male authors never spoke of. Stephen tells all and this girl at least went through similar emotional and physical explorations, but I was too much a Good Girl to ever stray from the very straight and narrow. Except smoking at 16 which I don't recommend.

I have also read Larry Niven's Destiny's Road which I enjoyed quite a bit. No, it isn't up there with Ringworld but is quite a good read. One of the Bear's leftovers. The Orchid Thief was a disappointing mishmash of personal experience with Florida's orchid community and environment and a historical background. Considering the orchid mania of Victorian times, this minor incident hardly counts but it is a window into a section of the plant world unknown to most of us. I used to occasionally accompany my mother to preserves in southern Florida in search of birds and I therefore know a little what they are like (hot, wet, and full of bugs but spectacular).

Here in Canberra we had torrential rain and high winds today, which are shredding my wisteria before it can properly bloom. My apple trees are blooming and I managed to pick enough asparagus for a meal last week. Next weekend I should have my gardener back to plant beans. The peas and lettuce look good A's much as I can see. But spring is toying with us, giving us some lovely days and then retreating leaving us shivering.

Last night I spent two hours watching shows about 9/11. I obviously was not in the US when the disaster struck but I still get very patriotic about my birth place and got very teary-eyed at some points. 9/11 seemed to bring out the best in many Americans: their courage under attack, their help to fellows in distress, their dogged persistence in rescue and the resolve it gave the country that we were not going to become a nation of victims. I certainly don't agree that the logical future involved invading Iraq and I doubt there's a chance of truly battling radical terrorists with an army anywhere, but we tried. The efforts of Homeland Security to make air travel safe are completely over the top and Timothy McVeigh proved that home-grown radicals can wreak havoc, so the solution can't be simply to put armed guards everywhere. I was so upset to listen to radical Muslim clerics declare that the US would not rest until every Muslim was dead. Our whole nation is built on exactly the opposite of that and only Muslims declaring jihad on America has changed our feelings about religious freedom. I am still very much American and I miss my homeland very much sometimes. I think Americans get a bad reputation overseas because in some cases we are frightened of foreigners since we can be insular. Our country is so big and has such diversity that going overseas is not the rite of passage as it is many other places (like Australia). I was terrified on my own even here because I knew I was in a different culture and didn't want to be thought ignorant or foolish when I opened me mouth. Maybe we talk too loud because we all talk at once at home and are not used to other cultures. Whatever; I've gotten off track. I felt such kinship and shared pain for the people who suffered through the attacks of 9/11 and it's that feeling of kinship that pulls me home even when I know I can't live there again.

Swans news: They won their elimination final against St Kilda! The played really well for most of the game and really bottled up the Saints. Ryan O'Keefe kicked 4 goals and I usually wince when he's kicking for goal because he can be inaccurate. But as the coach said, when a player is hot, he can do miracles. Goodesy was hot as well and the young bunch played very well. We play Hawthorn on Friday night (I hate Friday night matches) and their star forward is injured so we have a chance to get a little closer to the Big One.

I've been reading like mad. I finished the first three volumes of the Lost Fleet series by Jack Campbell and I am debating whether to buy the last three. Book prices being what they are, I could buy the last three on Amazon for half what they cost me here. But they are just military sci-fi about space battles and I think I'll go on to something new. I've started The Soul of a Chef which is about the Culinary Institute of America and I'm somewhat disappointed to find how focused they are on French cuisine. These days it pays (here at least) to know as much about Thai, Chinese, and Italian cuisine as French. Some of the course is very pedantic, but I guess knowing how to make a perfect stock is critical. I don't make veal stock because I don't cook classic French anything. Pasta and stir fries are more my speed and desserts my passion. I am reading The Man from Beijing by Henning Mankell. He is the author of the Kurt Wallender mysteries but this is not in that series. I am finding it very suspenseful, similar to the feeling in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo but with less violence (at least so far). My BBBB was The Crack at the Edge of the World by Simon Winchester, which is about the San Francisco earthquake of 1906. Over half the book is about the geology of America and for that I recommend John McPhee, who can make geology interesting. I was a bit deflated by this book, because John McPhee is better at geology and the chapter on the earthquake itself was a dry recital of facts. I'm now reading The Orchid Thief, since I love orchids.

In the middle of the last paragraph the nurse came to dress my wound and this one said it was almost healed over with just a few pin head holes. This is the first concrete assessment I've had. Every nurse says it's looking better but nobody has told me it was healed over before. This surely means surgery on Oct 17th is a go and I will walk again!

My gardener worked all weekend and has cleaned out almost all of the veggie beds. We have run out of room to get rid of the weeds and you can't compost most of these because they wouldn't get killed in a household compost bin. He also cleaned out the fish pond and cleared out ivy at the front. He may bankrupt me with his work ethic, but he will shortly have weeded everything that needed weeding and will have a break to let the weeds grow back!

Latest socks for your viewing, the red ones for D, my chauffeur, friend, and the one who keeps me sane. She may have become so fond of my socks that she will take up sock knitting for her own feet.

Greetings from the currently horizontal viewpoint of Swanknitter. Some days I see no good reason t get out of bed and subject my non-knee to clumping around on the frame. I've been poking around on my genealogical pursuits, watching TV, and reading. Also refreshing my musical preferences. The Google doodle for Les Paul's birthday sparked an online outpouring of music, one of which was "Hey, Jude" performed by the lead singer of After Edmund. So I spent time watching their videos on YouTube and ended up buying their EPs. Listen to their "Dance like you're from the future" and try not to wiggle. I am a collector of little-known alternative bands. They can join the likes of the Caesars and Sunny Day Real Estate on my iPod. Having said that, I mostly listen to podcasts on my iPod. I recently acquired an inexpensive iPod dock so I can listen to podcasts in bed.

TV ranges from documentaries on the African rainforest to detective shows. Just finished watching a short series of a British show called Second Sight about a detective who is losing his sight. Aside from it starring Clive Owen (heart-throb), I can deeply sympathize. When I do stay in bed, I usually don't put my contacts in, and therefore my eyesight is way off from 20/20. My vision cannot be corrected by glasses, so wearing them at least lets me find my way around the house and read (barely) but contacts are yet still imperfect. Commercial TV is Masterchef, Hawaii 5-0, the end of the season of House and Glee.

Swans news: Somehow they are 5th on the ladder. J and I enjoyed pizza while watching them demolish Brisbane 2 weekends ago. They were playing inspired footy, which we all know they can do but frequently can't produce. It doesn't look like I'll make it to a match this year unless they make the finals and get a home final, which is the only time I'm willing to Homebush.

Book reports: Finished Pegasus Descending by James Lee Burke. His novels are all very dark and end messily, but I want to find out how they turn out as much as I enjoy his writing. Trying to start Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco. One of the Bear's leftovers that sounds interesting enough to try. My BBBB on colonial Massachusetts is almost done and I have my eye on a book about the Mayflower as next in line.

To start today's post, since there's precious little to post on, I'm sharing some of my spinning efforts of recent times. To the left is blue-faced leicester and it is definitely more saturated greens than is showing up on my monitor. I showed you the in process version on Feb 19. I've got 3 good hanks of it and I think it will knit up beautifully as soon as I can get through all the other things either in process or in my mind.
To the right is 190 meters of 50/50 silk and merino and it is pink shaded grey so the color this time is more true. My problem is the walking frame I have to use to get about the house. My hands are so sore and spinning just adds to the situation.

Which brings me to the state of my knee. I saw the plastic surgery doctor and my surgeon. The wound is very small, but it's still open so no surgery. It's been rescheduled for June 30. Fortunately my surgeon seems equally eager to solve my problem but won't operate with an open wound.

The cat has once more called the tune this morning in demanding to look out the window which forced me out of bed to open the drapes for her. I've acquired an iPod dock so I can listen to podcasts without headphones. I've also had Foxtel installed in my bedroom since I'm looking at another month lying around. I can't really get my leg straight in my recliner. Although the brace doesn't allow me the really bend it, the position is uncomfortable.

Book report: Finished Bellwether by Connie Willis which was fun but dated (written in 1994 and treated the anti-smoking campaign as a fad). A true description of corporate life and its new plans with acronyms. Going back to Wonderful Tonight, the autobiography of Pattie Boyd, the one time wife of George Harrison and Eric Clapton, both of whom I worship. I was hoping for some insight into their relationship but instead it's a recounting of well-documented events. I find it bizarre that they were together for 8 years before she mentions wondering why she hadn't gotten pregnant. I haven't gotten far enough to be sure that was the cause of the failure of both marriages. She seems oblivious to the fact that Geirge was a musician and was actually creating while noodling on a guitar.

Well, it's been a long and for the most part boring time here at home. I can go nowhere without my frame (indoors) or crutches (outdoors). I will have to admit that there are days when I don't see the point in getting out of bed because I'll only be able to clump around and make my hands hurt even worse. I'm reading a lot and watching TV. The nurse is now visiting Mon/Wed/Fri to change the dressing on the wound. The last time I inspected (felt) it, it was about as big around as the tip of my pinkie but still had some depth to it. I see the plastics folks on Tues and my surgeon on Thurs with the hope that we can proceed with surgery as scheduled for May 30. Then I will have a knee back and can start walking again. I will be so glad to be out of this brace as well, which is another reason I've sometimes stayed in bed, because it slides down my leg every time I get up to walk. So I spend a lot of time ripping velcro off and replacing it.

Swans news: They trounced Port Adelaide on Sat night to win by 60 points. I was expecting the worst and therefore opted to watch a DVD but I did catch a few great moments. Goodes is good, when he kicks straight. One of the imponderables in AFL is how a player can manage some kind miracle shot for a goal and yet standing right in front of it, he misses. Only the footy gods know.

Book report: The new C.J. Cherryh "Foreigner" series novel Betrayer arrived in the mail and was read through as fast as I could devour it. Now, of course, I want the next one, but will have to wait another year or so. This series is about the only one where I cannot wait for any cheaper edition and buy the hardback as soon as it arrives in Amazon. The series is totally addictive but start with the first one if you want to get into them because at this point there is zero calendar time passage in the alien environment; one starts exactly where the last one left off. My BBBB A Perfect Red by Amy Butler Greenfield was fascinating and I love reading about dyes and colours. Think of what our world would look like without the vibrant modern dyes we all take for granted. Indigo, madder, onion, walnut, or that little beetle from Mexico. I am now reading Colonial Massachusetts and need to go back and plot my ancestors on the map of the colony. I know I have one ancestor that arrived on the Fortune, which was the next ship after the Mayflower, but lots that arrived during the Puritan exodus of the 1630's. I'm reading now about how new towns got established and new churches. I was surprised to learn that not every person joined the church. I had the impression it wasn't voluntary, but all it did was separate the "saints" from the rest the the population.

Winter seems to have arrived here judging by how cold I was last night despite having put the wool blanket on the bed. The forescast for the week is for minus digits every night this week. D came over to change a light bulb for me today and we got my doona out because I don't want another night like that. I also have possums in the roof again, snuggling up to my ducted heating no doubt, but the possum man is supposed to show up Tues AM. I say "supposed" since the last one didn't and can't be bothered to return a phone call. Winter in Canberra always means whooping flocks of currawongs which The Imp finds fascinating, though what she'd do with one if she caught one would not in the best interests of either party. She is burrowed under the covers at night too.

Once again the only thing I have to talk about is my knee. I had a very unsatisfactory visit with an infectious disease specialist on Friday, who merely looked at the swelling behind my knee (without any of my documentation apparently) and took a photo with his phone. He then pronounced that 1) it was infected, 2) surgery was not going to fix the problem, and 3) I would always have a swollen knee. I find this strange especially when he declined to drain the fluid and sent it to pathology (he dismissed the lack of infection on the first test on the basis I was on antibiotics at the time) which would make it clear before surgery whether it was or was not infected. He was unconcerned with the amount of pain and difficulty I was undergoing, just said I could manage for another 2 weeks. Now I have this ridiculous swelling that makes it hard to bend my knee and I think it will pop without any assistance. I am going to put in an urgent call the my surgeon on Monday since he had said he hadn't wanted to be presented with it just as I was wheeled in for surgery, and he will if it's not drained before then. It would also decide the issue of infection as I am off antibiotics. Sincerely, dear readers, I am terrified that on the 28th they will cut my knee open and find infection, because the treatment after that would be extremely difficult. What they do is removed the entire knee prosthesis and clean diligently, then put a spacer in and send me home on antibiotics. Two months later they do another knee replacement. In my heart of hearts I don't believe I am harbouring an infection but I could he wrong. How I could take care of myself without a knee for two months is beyond considering. Positive thoughts please and prayers if you do that sort of thing.

Otherwise not much going on. Getting lovely fresh green beans and tomatoes. The pear tree is loaded with pears but it remains to be seen whether the parrots will leave me any. They've cleaned off the top completely, I'm reading Barbara Kingsolver's Animal Vegetable Miracle and find it so inspiring. Her reasoning about the vegetarian issue is something I'd like to hand any vegetarian who tried to convert me. Her descriptions of the vegetative year bring back to me the huge garden I used to have in Ohio. We never bought veggies because there was always fresh or home frozen available. It was such a joy to see the rows of jars of applesauce, tomatoes, pickles and jam.

Book report: finished The Bookseller of Kabul and found it intriguing if disheartening for the issues of women's rights I have already written about. The mere thought of thirteen people all living in a 2 bedroom flat, especially and the head of household and his second wife have one bedroom to themselves and the rest of the family from grandmother, brothers, and offspring all sleep in the second. These are middle class Afghanis for whom life at least doesn't include malnutrition or illiteracy. My new Kindle book is Wake by Robert J. Sawyer and I'm not far enough into it to give a verdict. I gave up on Neal Stephenson's Baroque cycle as it was just too, well, Baroque. Also all massive doorstop tomes. So I'm on Barbara Kingsolver instead. My BBBB is A Perfect Red by Amy Butler Greenfield, which is about the pursuit of red dyestuffs.

We are having gorgeous weather and I wish so much to be out and about in it, digging in the earth if only to pull weeds. Instead I'll go back to elevating my leg and reading about gardening. I hope wherever I end up in the US has community garden plots because I think I'd go mad if I couldn't grow a few tomato and zucchini plants and a few rows of beans.

Finally a FO (finished object) that is not socks. It's a vest from Cheryl Oberle's Folk Vests featuring X-and-O cables, knit from Brooks Farm merino & mohair blend. It has taken me forever to finish it, and I really mean the finishing bits, like around arm holes etc., because the body of the vest was knit ages ago. I suddenly feel like knitting again and pulled from the stash some Cascade 220 I bought on my last long trip to the states with BFLB and found a shrug pattern on line in Ravelry. I also pulled out some handspun for a hat and some exotic linen/rayon/wool blend for a simple summer shell. I've already started a new pair of socks, this time just wool in white with blue dots, I am also plying the green BFL I spun a couple of weeks ago and it's gorgeous. Am I up to trying my first lace creation?

My knee has been the focus of all my attention the past couple of weeks with the news going from good to bad to good. Behind my knee (where of course I cannot see very well) is swelling just like in the front, except the back gets compressed when I bend my knee, as I am while sitting at a desk. I can't leave it straight or I'll lose range of motion. So the swelling has been squeezed into hard ridges across the back of my knee. I'm not thrilled by this but figured it would sort itself out when the problem at the front of my knee was fixed. Then one bit started to swell further, became sore and even bled a little. So I took myself to my GP who took one look at the icky mess and called my surgeon. I went in to see him last Thurs and he fussed about it, drained clear fluid out of it, and put me on antibiotics. When I returned to get the expected bad news that it was infected, I was surprised (as was the surgeon) to learn that there was no sign of infection in the fluid drained, and in fact the swelling in the back of my knee has returned to its previous ugly but benign state. Just to be on the safe side I'm to see an infectious disease specialist next Friday. Otherwise the schedule of surgery on the 28th is still a go. I have a very annoying patellar clunk and soreness with swelling.

Other than that I have been reading. Finished Russell Wiley is Out to Lunch by Richard Hine on my Kindle. It is a comedy of the life in a corporation with all the games played and the players who should be familiar to anyone who works in a place with more than 10 employees. It had a surprising happy ending that I didn't see coming. I am plodding through Quicksilver by Neal Stephenson and the jury is out on whether I'll stick with it and its 2 following tomes which make up his Baroque cycle. A semi-historical novel about Isaac Newton probably fit the Bear perfectly but I'm finding it slow going. I started as BBBB Animal Vegetable Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver, but it's about growing vegetables which is far too interesting (to me) for bedside reading. I am reading The Bookseller of Kabul by Asne Seirstad on my Kindle. It reveals a lot about what goes on inside an Afghani family and the relations between men and women. Frankly, I find it very difficult to relate to these women who are brought up expecting to be sold like cattle, to have no life outside the home, who are often illiterate, and have no rights. Even without the Taliban, a woman's life in a strict Islamic society is very alien to western women. Even the Amish have the year off to find out whether they want the western lifestyle or not, but women in strict Islamic states are hidden and their lives are so constrained as to be impossible for me to understand. I have been watching the BBC series The Frankincense Trail which is hosted by an English woman but, when she enters Saudi Arabia, almost all her freedom is lost: she must dress a certain way, cannot drive, cannot be seen in public without a man as her guardian, etc. The women she meets in their luxurious shopping malls try to convince her the life inside a burqa is not so awful but the cultural mindset that believes that is what is right for a woman is beyond my comprehension. It would seem that the mere sight of a woman's face drives Islamic men so overwrought with desire that they cannot control themselves, so women have to dress as not to offend. Again, I read these books but I cannot understand how this culture exists, but I am trying to understand.

My veggie patch is producing beans, zucchinis, and tomatoes. The patches not currently under cultivation (that is, about 60% of the garden) are full of weeds, mostly couch grass. My lawn-mover says he has an employee who wants work and will come over and weed for me, but I don't envy her. Couch is the very devil to get rid of and will only find a new way into the patches from the lawn.

I saw my surgeon last Thurs and am finally scheduled in to have it opened up and fixed -- but not till Mar. 28th. That leaves me with almost 2 more months of pain and reduced mobility (plus another month or so afterwards). A little Googling showed me that patellar clunk syndrome, which sounds all too bizarre, actually occurs in about 4% of TKR patients and it caused by a build up of scar tissue on the back of the patella. That part is easily fixed. Of course we don't know what went wrong to begin with, but my rheumatologist figured it out in 15 minutes yesterday. I hadn't really liked her after the avuncular manner of my previous dr, but she proved with her knee assessment and willingness to do battle with the pharmacy gods that she is good. My GP has gone away for 2 weeks without notice, and I was reluctant to try and explain my need for drugs to a stranger at his clinic, so I asked my rheumatologist if she'd do it, which would also save ma a wait in the clinic. She got me my scripts and saved me another painful outing. I've ordered groceries delivered today becaus I just couldn't face pushing a trolley (shopping cart) around the supermarket.

Sort of a book report: I started as my new BBBB Angel in the Whirlwind by Benson Bobrick to get a fresh course on Revolutionary America. I had to put it aside because his description of colonial era American did not match what I knew from my own genealogy. It was the same "the settlers came and settled" and even that there was not much interaction between colonies. I now know that between arrival at Plymouth and the revolutionary war my ancestors moved from Massachusetts to Rhode Island to Connecticut to New York and up the Hudson. Maybe the various governments didn't converse but the people were on the move. I've tracked one line back to the early Dutch settlement of Albany which is about as "ethnic" as my tree gets. From my grandfather's WWI draft registration, I found he worked for a company which made machinery for the newfangled cardboard boxes that were replacing wooden boxes. From his WWII draft registration I found he never became an American citizen but remained Canadian. How he got from Canada to Michigan and why he sold the farm in Michigan and moved to Niagara Falls, NY, is still a mystery. Before I came to Australia and honed my ear to new dialects of English, I would have said Canadians sound just like Americans. Now I hear differences in my surgeon (he's Canadian) and on TV. I watched a doco on David Thompson who explored and mapped the western half of Canada and realized how much Americans don't know about Canada. Since I'm carrying a few drops of Ontario blood, I should learn some more.

New BBBB: Deluxe by Dana Thomas about the popularizing of luxury brands. Non-bedtime reading is Michael Connolly's The Reversal on my Kindle and Ken MacLeod's Newton's Wake, where I am sounding out Glaswegian in the far future.

In typical Aussie weather behavior we went from 38C to 9c in a week. My poor tomato plants!

Friday I was told the weaving class was on and that I would probably be having knee surgery soon. Does the surgery preclude the class participation? Can I miss a few weeks and still do something meaningful? I have spent a lot of time looking at weaving projects in my books and magazines. I would like to use my handspun but my teacher is not enthused about that. Alternatively, I have found a pattern for a series of twill towels that might make a small dent in the stash while letting me practice with my favourite weaving pattern. I'm addicted to twills, so this could be fun.

The surgeon, Dr A, finally admits that there's something mechanically wrong with my knee and believes he needs to open it up and look at it, possibly to adjust my kneecap, possibly to tighten or adjust something else in the knee. It's been 6 months and the knee is still hot and swollen, let alone painful especially when he pokes at the knee cap and says, "Does this hurt?" This time I will demand to speak to the anesthesist prio to surgery so I don't get in the mess I was in the last time. For me, the news I needed surgery again came as a relief.

Spent a little time last night Googling the Bear and found a very touching memorial written by somebody I didn't know that echoed what several other of his co-workers had said. I didn't know his email short-cut for "evil twin" but that was always an in-joke with us. Unfortunately most of what I trawled through was for the actor of the same name who actually doesn't spell his name the same way but the whole world seems to have overlooked that fact. He and the Bear are probably distantly related, but it was a little strange reading all these posts about people who harboured secret passions for the actor who is built about as solidly as the Bear was. I also fired off email to a couple of sites that still had him alive and active to try and remove his name.

Finished Brass Man and started on The Algebraist by Iain Banks, which I replaced paper with Kindle versions so I can read it easier. Am reading Flood by Stephen Baxter in paper It is about sea levels rising and subsequent chaos. BBBB us now Museum, a behind the scenes look at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I didn't visit it as much as MOMA when I lived in New York. My slightly outrageous 9th grade Sunday school teacher once took the class on a field trip to look at the Egyptian stuff. (Same teacher taught us all to make wine which became a science project one year) I'd love to return and look at their costumes, but that is a some day trip.

I watched Nine on DVD last night with zero expectations except I loved the cast members (including Judi Dench, Daniel Day-Lewis, Nicole Kidman and Sophia Loren). I was underwhelmed by Chicago despite everyone else adoring it, but quite liked this musical. Penelope Cruz as sex kitten mistress was outstanding. And Daniel was wonderful as he always is, becoming Iralian to suit the role. Other movie adventure was to see The King's Speech with J which was very well done and Geoffrey Rush was his usual self. How does Australia produce so many good actors? When Guy Pearce pops up as the Duke of Windsor or in The Hurt Locker I try not to jump. When he appeared at the end of The Road, I shouldn't have been surprised.

I have heard crashing silence from you readers about the continuation of the blog, except a couple I knew read it. Is it worth the effort to do this instead of emails? Still writing so far but I'd really like to know who's out there.

So far it's been a quiet and somewhat lonely holiday season here at Chez Swanknitter. I treated myself to a Christmas feast of a selection of cheeses and smoked salmon with crackers followed by brownies, accompanied by a cleanskin Reisling. Today was the first really hot day of the summer, that is, hot enough to turn on the a/c. After all the rain earlier in the season, right now we could use some. The berry bushes are covered in black jewels of flavour. I made a batch of jam, but I've also enjoyed several bowls of berries with cream. These are loganberries and some boysenberries. Their new growth is so enthusiastic this year that it's hard to get near to pick them.

The past few days I've had a recurrence of the knee problems I had before my replacement. I have no idea what has caused this, but the knee is sore and the muscles are spasming again. I think I overdid a bit in my rush back to normalcy and need to take it slower. It's very difficult when so many things cry out for attention not to get into action. My major downfall and character flaw.

I finished In Defense of Food, which should have been a magazine article instead of a book. If you've read The Omnivore's Dilemma, you will know what Michael Pollan is about. I believe him and would like to follow his precepts, except sometimes is difficult to eat the right food when you don't know where it has come from or how it was grown. That's one reason I'm so passionate about my veggie garden. I started The Algebraist by Iain M Banks but my hands struggled with its size. This is the first time I am seriously considering buying the Kindle edition of something I own in paper. I am reading Kathy Reich's Mortal Remains on the Kindle instead.

I think I've reached my destination in the family tree business, altho there is still lots to do yet. I got back to William the Conqueror thru yet another bastard line. So lots of baronets and influential Normans in the tree but I don't need to go any further back than that, but need to document the intervening links. Fortunately there seems to be a fair group of fellow genealogists working the same lines.

On the fibre front, I am knitting socks for myself out of the merino & bamboo blend I spun recently, I am knitting a winter scarf for X2 out of various natural coloured wools. It's knit the long way so there are stripes for each new yarn, It's in seed stitch and is almost done so I'll get a photo before I post it. I could not face any more alpaca to spin so poked around in the stash and pulled out a gorgeous hand painted rope of BFL (blue-face Leicester) in gorgeous mossy greens. It's from Briar Rose and of course it's a dream to spin. I have to pace myself with the spinning and knitting because altho I love doing both, my hands often tell me the next day that I over did it. See a pattern here?

Over the holidays I learned that another dear friend of mine going back to grad school at UNC had passed away the day after my sister. She was only 72. She was first an instructor when I was studying African linguistics, and helped me learn Hausa, which is an extremely difficult language. I got good enough that I could read literacy pamphlets and write simple stories but I am sure I don't retain a single word. She became a friend and we kept in touch through the years. I was unable to meet with her on my last trip to Chapel Hill due to family obligations (hers) and now I know I missed the last chance to see her. She was one of the friends I was hoping to move back to be near.

I am shocked that so much time has slipped away from me without a blog post. Not that there is that much new to post about. My knee is healing slowly but still has some frightening symptoms. The swelling at the back of the knee is hard and resists bending. On the front, if I bend and push back, as in pushing a chair away from a table to stand up, that knee joint feels like it is coming unstuck and then pops back into place. Scarey and painful. My surgeon said that was just the plastic cartilage slipping into place but it just feels wrong and frightening. I have been sleeping a lot, too much I'm sure, but when my activities are so restricted, there is only so much reading and watching TV one can do.

On the fibre front, I have been spinning brown alpaca and I've almost gotten to the bottom of the bag of unwashed alpaca. I came in one day to find the Imp asleep in the bag of alpaca which was not appreciated. Very soft to be sure. I've plied the pale grey Shetland, and need to wind it off. I had promised it to BFLB to knit a lace shawl but it looks like I'll have to teach myself to knit lace. I am knitting myself a pair of socks out of Tofutsies yarn which has a soy and cotton component and is quite soft. Blues and purples. I have also started on the last piece of the vest, knitting from the armhole to the shoulder of the left front. This has taken far too long, but I got out of the habit of knitting and need to give myself a kick by finishing something.

I am now "officially" retired, having started receiving pension payouts. I finally hired someone to do a partial cleanup of the front and back yards. He is also mowing my lawn while I am laid up. I managed to get the bare minimum of plants in the ground: tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, pumpkin, and beans. The peas planted in Sept. are now yielding pods and there's lots of rhubarb. If I could stand in the kitchen long enough I might make a rhubarb pie.

Reading takes up a lot of time. I read Zero History by William Gibson on my Kindle and really liked it except it didn't seem to be "about" anything. I'm now reading Polity Agent by Neil Asher on the Kindle. My BBBB of Oracle Bones was finished and I recovered Good Wives from under the bed and finished that. The research done in court proceedings, wills, letters and other documents to describe women's live in the northern part of New England 1650-1750 was very pertinent since I have a number of ancestors in that window and I have yet to do research on their lives. Current BBBB is The Meaning of Everything by Simon Winchester about the OED. I am now reading High King of Montival by S.M. Sterling so I can send it to X2 for his reading.

My genealogy is back to a Johannes Quackenbush who lived in Albany NY around the last quarter of the 17th century. I know from my history reading that the Dutch had trading posts there to trade with the Iroquois for furs so the influx of Dutch names shouldn't be surprising.

Nothing's been posted because there's precious little to report on being confined to zero activity. My knee did get better but cranked up again once I put weight on it. The dr now suspects a stress fracture and I had a bone scan on Friday to look for it. I am afraid that the recommended treatment is more bed rest. The fact that it does get better seems to indicate that rest does help. I am determined to get a minimal garden in: beans, tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers and pumpkin. I weeded enough of one raised bed to uncover the strawberries and make room for beans, and started on the second for tomatoes and zukes. I've got a garden person in to clean up a lot of the mess that was beyond me, like removing dead trees. I'll have him mow the lawn until I'm back on my feet, though I can certainly afford for him to continue. I can't stand up long enough to cook so I've been living on frozen dinners and grilled cheese sandwiches, having my groceries delivered. Very boring.

Otherwise I read, watch TV, play mahjong, card alpaca, spin alpaca, etc. I've finished J's red & white socks and started a pair for me out of Tofutsies, the soy/wool mix, in blues and greens. I need more summer weight socks and there's plenty to knit in the stash, so I plug away. I finished the Sean Williams & Shane Dix Echoes of Earth, but was suitably unimpressed to read the rest if the trilogy. I am now reading William Gibson's Zero History on my Kindle and am loving it. Simultaneously I'm reading The Dragon Scroll by I. J. Parker, which is a murder mystery set in 11th century Japan. Have almost finished my BBBB Oracle Bones, about modern China.

As expect BFLB only lived to see Nov 1, which was her & St. H's wedding anniversary. I did get to talk to her once but she had little voice power. H told me she was smiling and mouthing words back but her lungs were too far gone to speak. She passed relatively peacefully leaving us all bereft. I will try calling St H to keep in touch. I was so glad the hospice let her have the cats with her. Duke probably thought all the fuss was over him.

Today we start with photos. To the left is the last of the black alpaca, now sorted, deseeded and clean.

Some of it is long enough to spin from the locks, while other bits will have to be carded. It was very soft when I was cleaning it so I have high hopes of the end result. I am currently spinning some of the pale grey Shetland I brought back from the States.





To the right is the superwash merino/bamboo
blend I spun a while back. It feels very light
so I am hoping it will make decent light weight socks.







I finished Rainbows End and enjoyed it completely. Especially as it takes place in San Diego which is one of those places I'd love to live (and we almost did via the Bear's job). I am now reading Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash, which sometimes feels like I've read it before but then a lot of his images have been "borrowed" by other authors since it was written 20 years ago.

I had my doctor's visit today and he is still mystified by why my knee remains swollen. He aspirated (stuck a needle in) it and drew out some fluid to be sent off to the lab. I have to get another X-ray and see him in 2 weeks. We are hoping there is no infection because that would be very bad but what else is going on is a mystery.

I spent a very lazy day in bed yesterday while thunderstorms threatened but never materialized. Today is warm and sunny and my knee feels even worse after being stuck with a needle. So much for gardening. My car is covered in pollen and windblown wisteria blossoms since that is in full bloom. My baby apple trees are blooming, as is the pear. The backyard is alive with the humming of bees.

Today is the first official day of retirement. If it weren't for the knee, I would be dancing in the street, or at least in the backyard. Instead here I am writing in my blog, feeling depressed. I have been thinking about the Bear a lot as his birthday approaches. I keep going over what I could have done to prevent his early demise. What if I had thrown a tantrum early on and threatened to leave him if he didn't stop drinking? He would have known I'd never leave him. Should I have accompanied him to the GP every time to tell him what the Bear didn't? I think of all the wonderful times we had and then the image of him in the oncology ward comes up and I lose it. If he were here there wouldn't be a thought in my head about going back to the US, but that seems my best option now. Meanwhile I can still sometimes smile and think of my dear boy.

There has been no blogging because I have done nothing but lie around and heal. I attempted to go back to work last week and almost made it through two days but then couldn't get out of bed for 3 days. My doctor doesn't know what is going on but thinks it will "settle down" in time. It does seem to be very slowly getting better. The redness (not bruising but a red discoloration) had subsided a bit and the swelling has gone down a little. I have swelling in the foot on that leg, which to me means there is something going on in the knee, because I had a lot of trouble with that after the surgery. It gets very stiff if I stand or sit for any period of time, and getting it mobile again takes some concerted effort. I have full range of movement and weight bearing; it's just sore and swollen and stiff. This has been very discouraging and means that I will not see much of work up to my last day before retirement. To be honest, I think there's a whole lot of things going wrong with my body at the moment and I think they may be related to stress that started up when my sister was dying and has not let up since. The combination of the trip in the US, coming home and immediately seriously injuring my knee, and simultaneously facing the end of my working life (however much I might be looking forward to having my time my own) has taken its toll. My right arm from shoulder to hand is very sore (muscles not joints). I am depressed in the sense that I recognize the clinical signs, and depression from being unhealthy leads to feeling worse. Now that I am still living in a house with a garden, I'm dying to get out and play in it but all I've managed to do was plant some peas. The lawn could feed a sheep or two. Since I am unable to physically do any of the things I wanted to do when I had all this free time, I feel pretty useless. The cat and I lie in bed while I read or nap. I get up in the evenings for TV and knitting. This has gone on for far too long. I'm going to attempt a minor excursion tomorrow just to see if I can. Grocery shopping last week nearly killed me. I did get the electrician in to replace all the light fittings which look much nicer, especially the light over the kitchen table; I didn't realize how dim it was in there until I had a new lamp. I must try to get to my optometrist and pick up replacement contact lenses as one has a chip and the other is just too old and gunky.

Swans news: They lost to the Bulldogs in the second round of the finals. It was a tight match and they only lost by a small margin but the Dogs just fought harder than my boys did. A sad end to Roosy's coaching career but at least he's going to stay around the club so his mentoring role can continue.

Book report(s): I finished the series that began with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo tonight. The second and third novels should be read as one and don't expect the same sorts of fireworks as in the first one. I literally could not put the last one down tonight until I finished it. There was a bit of bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo in the middle made difficult for me (who has a horrible time remembering names) trying to keep all the Swedish characters straight. Definitely worth the read but I wouldn't be surprised if people get turned off during the second & third because you want to shake these people and tell them to pay attention. My BBBB The Great Game is also finished and I've started reading Good Wives by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. I've gone from Central Asia in the 19th century to New England in the early years of settlement. Since I've found so many of the strands on my family tree all go back to settlers in Massachusetts in the second half of the 17th century, I thought I'd read about what life was like for them.

Well, my first week home has been less than fantastic. The hardest part of the flight home (except for Qantas having no record of me paying for my ticket) was the long progression out the door of the plane, down an endless ramp, through Immigration, waiting through the last of the luggage to snag mine, an endless queue through Quarantine, an endless walk to drop off luggage for the flight to Canberra, a long wait to get on a bus, a long bus ride and another endless walk to the very last gate to get on the plane. While the chill in Canberra was a welcome change from the humid blanket of the US. I was glad I had acquired a jacket overseas which I could easily pull out of my suitcase.

I have then suffered through the worst jet lag I have ever had. Whether it was partially my medical conditions aggravated by lack of sleep or whatever, I was nauseous, extremely tired, headachey and in pain. Just as it was starting to lift on Friday I injured my right knee. I don't know how I did it. I think it is just a soft tissue strain of the still healing tissues. I was very pleased with the new knee's performance on the trip but today I am in agony. Rest, ice, and waiting are all I can do. All the muscles that had stopped hurting when the knee was replaced are now reminding me of what they are capable of when annoyed.

The Imp became a limpet for many days, sleeping with me and trying to attach herself to me whenever I sat down, which led to a few disagreements about what is permissible. Of course she wants to camp on my knees now. The wattle is indeed in bloom, I saw snow on the mountains and we've been having lots of frost.

Book reports: I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo on the trip and it is a great thriller. I watched the movie on the plane back and was very disappointed. All the nuances of the characters were smoothed out an a happy ending supplied. Read the book but skip the movie. I also just finished another ethics-based sci-fi by L. E. Modesitt Jr, Adiamante. While you can always tell where he is going in his novels, the journey is enjoyable. This trip resulted in zero books purchased and no food either.

Where have I been? Working, thinking about my friends and family so far away, trying to get ready for retirement and downsizing, knitting socks, watching Masterchef Australia. I love to cook but this season they seem to be aiming more at restaurant style foods and not stuff I'd whip up at home. Like pigeon with truffles. Instead I made a pot of curried cauliflower soup and have the makings for more pumpkin soup. In winter I live on soup, bread and fruit, usually pears and mandarines. At least the Masterchef trio have allowed desserts into the competition, and there are fewer contestants who have never made pasta/meringue/pastry/mousse as they had last year. Unfortunately the show airs right at the time I would normally be eating my dinner and therefore I am sometimes skimping on my dinner meal in order to watch other people cook.

I've been reading too. Whipped through William Gibson's Idoru, which wasn't as good as the others I have read recently (i.e., Pattern Recognition), and Janet Envanovich's Finger Lickin' Fifteen, which was a hoot as always. I am now in Darwinia by Robert Charles Wilson. Of course, there can't help but be comparisons to the S.M. Stirling change saga but there's a very different tone due to the time when the change took place: 1912 vs 1998.

I spent yesterday driving all over Canberra shopping and today feel like I've been run over by a truck. I bought a granite mortar & pestle (I know--how have I cooked this long without one?) and a rug for the living room to replace the grotty thing in there now. My challenge is how to get the old rug out and the new one in without getting assistance to move furniture. And what will the Imp think of it? I also bought new ceiling light fittings for the lounge and bedroom and ordered a new pendant lamp for the kitchen. I spent a lot of time fruitlessly looking for a new kitchen table. Everyone wants to sell dining room table for 8 and I just want a square or oblong table with simple wooden chairs for my kitchen. It is out there somewhere but I tramped around a lot without finding it.

Thinking about my sister also got me back on the genealogical front, adding details about the maternal line. Ancestry just added a lot of land titles and I found my great grandfather's land grant in Benton, Pennsylvania. I also found out how the exotically named Naomi LaPorte ended up marrying into the Rhone family line: French refugees, which is perhaps where my mother's myth that we were descended from General Lafayette's family arose.

The next 4 weeks are to be spent cleaning out junk. I'll get a skip on Monday and start heaving stuff in it. No time to be sentimental about rusty tools formerly the Bear's. I can't use them and nobody else wants them so out they go.

Swans news: They played horrendously Sat. night against the Pies and lost badly. Somehow we manage to stay in the 8 but playing like that won't keep us there. For the first time I saw Roosy totally lose it at quarter time and give them an earful. They deserved it. Back to watching the other team play and an accasional defensive play. J and I turned off in disgust after our usual round of sms-ings.

Spinning: I wound off 450 m. of plied white alpaca that looks pretty darned spiffy if I do say so. Somebody suggest I try selling it online but I don't know if that is worth the effort. I do seem to be spinning faster than I can knit and I already have a LOT of yarn in the stash. Once I finish the socks currently under construction I can get back to serious knitting. I'm plying another lot of the red I've shown previously and I've plucked from the stash a hamk of SW merino from Laughing Rat Studio in a colourway called house finch: purple brown and blue.

In 4 days it will be July 1 and the third anniversary of his death. It seems like yesterday and yet feels like an eon. I could never have pictured myself living alone and making major decisions about my future by myself. Not having someone smarter than you to bounce ideas off makes me unsure of myself sometimes. I seem to have accepted that my future will be a single one, but there still isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish for him back. "What if" is pointless but and easy game to play. I miss him.